8.29.2005

dreams. for some reason all those things that drove me, all those idealistic ambitions and pursuits, have faded into some other time. it seems i cannot remember how i got to this point in my life. i don't remember why i do what i do. and for the life of me i don't know what to do next. there's such an apathy in my heart...no drive...no direction...no goals...just an apathetic nothing. i feel like there are no roads...that i've hit a dead end. i know that isn't true, but it feels that way. i'm stuck...trapped. and i cannot stand being so. yikes. what to do next? that is the million dollar question.

8.18.2005

last night, misty and i partook of the killers live and in concert. let me recap the evening.

we arrive early...of course and hang out for awhile. we find our seats. we chat it up for awhile. enter "ken" frat boy and "barbie" sorostitute. they proceed to put on a rather disgusting public display of affection. then the opening band, Louie XIV comes on and they royally stink. worse bands are seldom heard. they should give up the music business and try there hand as a band of travelling salesmen. disgusting pda continues. we chat and anticipate the killers set. finally, it begins. the killers rock it out. and the digusting pda is now horribly disgusting. i seriously consider tapping them on the shoulder and asking them to stop because now i want to vomit. it was too much. misty considers telling them to take it outside...or to a hotel...whichever. we exit the theater like cattle being herded into an awaiting semi truck. people are pushing...totally invading my personal space without regard. then we see the girl in the white mini skirt and a flowered thing that we deduce to actually be her bra. yes...she chose to CARRY her shirt instead of wear it...much to the chagrin of most...and most likely to the delight of every slightly intoxicated male at the concert. we exit the nokia and descend into what is now a traffic jam instead of a parking lot. we laugh at confused concert goers who are unable to locate their cars since everything has seemingly gone sideways. after some skilled manuvering and staring down of cheating drivers attempting to cut us off, we exit the parking lot and head home.

interesting evening as most secular concerts are...wondering if people looked into the mirror before they left the house...because if they had, they may have chosen a more covering outfit...or to at least put on their shirts. girl with white mini skirt...please leave something to the imagination and wear a shirt for the love of all things pure and holy.

misty...thanks for going with me...the coldplay warm up concert proved to be mostly fun...coldplay will only be 1,000 times better. :)

8.13.2005

12 hours left in la...sad day in the city.

i've laid on the beach...played in the ocean...got chased out of the ocean by a jelly fish...

met new friends...ate a lot of really amazing food...sang asian style karaoke...

helped remove grout from a newly laid tile floor...heard some amazing classical music...

and had great time with my sister and brother-in-law...

i love los angeles and california weather and california friends.

i'm sad to leave them here...but alas...duty calls...home calls...so texas...i'll see you tomorrow.

8.09.2005

today we viewed an art exhibit centering on capital punishment and the death penalty in america. it showcased some art by a latino painter who also uses various mediums to express himself as well as a collection of various posters expressing various takes on the death penalty.

it was very interesting to learn the stories behind some of the more prominent cases that makes us think about people who live on death row every day...some rightly and some wrongly accused. a lot of these stories are never heard. for instance...all my years growing up i never really new anything about julius and ethel rosenberg except their names. i had no idea what they had supposedly done, the controversy surrounding the case, or that they were electrocuted at sing sing based soley on the outcome of a civil trial. things like the rosenberg executions, the case surrounding a black journalist and black panther member who is apparently wrongly accused and down to his last appeal in philadelphia...convicted of a crime that he didn't do during the height of philadelphia police brutality against blacks, the poor, and women of the area, and various other instances like the iranian student organization exocutions were truly fascinating. it made me really stop and evaluate my position, and what i believe Jesus would think about such a position.

is an eye for an eye really valid position in a lifestyle/religion that promotes mercy and compassion and forgiveness? if vengence really is the Lord's to dole out, why do we feel we have the right to take life in retribution? we are to turn the other cheek...give a person our shirt too if they take our coats. i don't think punishing lawbreakers is wrong. we have to have boundaries to keep everyone safe. but is legalized killing of criminals different that murdering someone on the street? sure they broke the law, but is it morally right? our justice system is so very flawed...with corruption at every turn. people get lazy and pin things on the easiest target. there is still so much racial injustice in the world that many times, unfortunately, it is a racially drawn conclusion. i can understand why the african american community is so angry about the injustice they are shown even now and understand better how we as a society perpetuate this stigma. this is not just a political and moral issue...i believe it to be a social issue, and one that like other social issues in america is flawed. food for thought if nothing else.

but through all of this, i have come to some sort of philosophy of why we don't really try to reform our prison/justice system. the united states has roughly 8% of the world's population and we use roughly 80% of the drugs produced world wide. that in and of itself is a huge issue. roughly 90% of the prison population has or has had a substance abuse and/or dependence issue at some point in their lives. then the issue is suddenly not a matter of a law or two broken...it's a social issue that requires addressing problems in many different areas. it becomes about changing all of the systems that feed into the crime committed. not to say that you won't just get a bad apple every now and again. if men are inherently evil and prone to do evil naturally, there will just be people who have no respect for the law and the rights of others. however, there are people who commit crimes and can be rehabilitated. we can interrupt the cycle when they are children and adolescents. reforming the juvenile justice system to treat them as children...like they are...instead of miniature adults could make a world of difference for the majority of kids who are simply in need. we can meet those needs if we'd stop being so lazy and go the extra mile for the marginalized of our society. eliminate poverty and you remove a huge stumbling block. i know this is all easier said than done, but it is about time something changed. maybe we don't need state sanctioned murder to teach people lessons. it obviously doesn't deter people from killing other people. i think we need to re-evaulate ourselves.

there was one poster in particular that really got my attention. it had to do with a case in florida in which a prominent civil rights activist had been murdered. the man responisble was charged and sentenced to death. at a clemency hearing for this man, the victim's son spoke to the judge. what he said was in effect this. the God he learned to believe in from his father (the victim) was a God of compassion and mercy and forgiveness. he said that the family did not want this man killed for what he had done. they couldn't not justify that as being right and in accordance with the teaching they believed. i thought it was particularly poignant. they didn't want him freed. they just wanted him to live for the rest of his life with what he had done...knowing all the while that this man's family showed him compassion...and in effect heaping hot coals of kindness on his head. wow. i can't imagine how hard it must of been for them to come to terms with a human tendancy for justice and the christian teachings they stood for in the end.

i think it is time that we as christians stand up on sound doctrine for what is right and what embodies the teachings of christ we claim to adhere to. it's time to put into action what Jesus lived. as micah 6:8 says...we should live justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God.

8.08.2005

last night, we made a trip to the hollywood bowl to hear yo yo ma and the silk road ensemble. very, very cool. they played different musical pieces representative of the countries and cultures found along the silk road. there were some of the most amazing musicians playing with him. it was a joy to listen to and watch. a culture rich experience indeed.

yesterday i also ate my first kosher hot dog and the first hot dog i had eaten in somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 years. go hebrew national!

so you should consider giving yo yo ma and the silk road ensemble a listen and eating a hebrew national...though not necessarily in that order.

8.07.2005

i love california weather...sleep with the windows open...it's a beautiful 70 degrees at noon...heaven.
it took an act of congress to get here. i arrived at the airport two hours in advance to find that my flight was delayed two hours. the plane coming out of baltimore was delayed due to microburst concerns in the dallas area. so we were told that we may leave by 8:40 but it could be delayed even longer. considering i was supposed to arrive in la at 8:05 pst, this was less that desirable. so i hung out in the tgi friday's and read my book and waited and waited and waited. we left dallas at 8:50.

it was quit amazing though to fly over la at night...you really get to see how amazingly huge it really is...all those lights and all those people. it was very impressive.

so finally my vacation has begun.

8.05.2005

california here i come!

vacation is a mere 26 hours away!!!!!!!!!!