dreams. for some reason all those things that drove me, all those idealistic ambitions and pursuits, have faded into some other time. it seems i cannot remember how i got to this point in my life. i don't remember why i do what i do. and for the life of me i don't know what to do next. there's such an apathy in my heart...no drive...no direction...no goals...just an apathetic nothing. i feel like there are no roads...that i've hit a dead end. i know that isn't true, but it feels that way. i'm stuck...trapped. and i cannot stand being so. yikes. what to do next? that is the million dollar question.