it's time for my dreaded yearly evaluation. so i'm trying to fill out my self-evaluation which will be compared with my 2 supervisors' evaluation of me...yuck. for one, i absolutely loathe these things. i have having to rate myself for other people to look at because i'm afraid that when my bosses look at this they'll wonder what i was smoking when i filled it out...like i'll rate myself way better than they did. on the flipside, i could rate myself worse than they did and look like i'm overly judgmental and a possible head case. plus, factor in my last experience with yearly evaluations at work. i was working full-time for a church while in graduate school. my yearly evaluation rolled around. i filled out my self-evaluation, and when my boss called me into her office for what i thought was an evaluation, i was informed that the church would no longer allow me to adjust my hours in order to attend classes, and i had to pick between finishing my masters and working there. needless to say, it really threw me for a loop...thus increasing my pre-exisiting anxiety about evalutaions by an astronomical percentage. no matter how certain i am that my experience won't be repeated when we go over my eval tomorrow, there's still a thought that it might lodged in the back of my mind.

i loathe you, yearly evaluation. please be more merciful that you were before.