The Trouble with Faith

The trouble with faith is that it more easily applied outside of ourselves. Faith seems to be larger than we imagined when we are believing God will move in those around us. For instance, there is a situation with someone close to you, and you can more easily believe a miracle will occur. If that situation is happening directly to you, you try and take control, and it is more difficult to see where God can work. In simpler terms, we are pessimists about ourselves and optimists when it comes to everyone else.

This is a pattern I see repeatedly occurring in my own life. Because of circumstances I've lived through in my life, I have a lot of doubt and questions and an all-around unwillingness to risk anything because I see the cost as being to great. Yet, as I support my loved ones in their valleys, I totally believe the sovereignty of God...that He will do great things in their lives...but I have trouble applying this belief to me. I don't want to open myself up to anything that could cost me big time. I'm not willing to put myself in a position to experience whatever it is God has for me...in certain areas of my life...because I have yet to find a reason to believe that things might turn out different than they have in the past. But it is only in a few areas. Moving away from my friends, family, and anything familiar was a risk. It was difficult, but I could see the hand of God laying out the framework. He got me ready and moved me on. So why can't I get that to translate into other areas of my life?

I am seeing more now the influence of past circumstances on my present condition...how I have taken great pains to insulate myself, isolate myself, and pretty much hide out. I just don't know how to abandon almost nine years of building my fortress of solitude. How do you lay all that mess down? I know I have too. I've fought this battle too long, and I no longer have the desire to be closed off from anything God may want to do in this area of my life. But I'm also afraid of what may happen once my hands are empty. If I could just trust Him with all of me like I trust Him with those I love.

Lord, help me believe because I don't want to miss anymore miracles.