The Tale of the Psychologist
Alright. So yesterday I was sitting in an inservice meeting with the rest of the Juvenile Justice Alternative Education Program (JJAEP) staff preparing for a day of shear and excruciating boredom, which typically accompanies a meeting of this type. They actually paid a guy to come speak at this thing...only he wasn't "known" and he absolutely was not cool.
Enter the psychologist. At first glance, he looks like a typical PhD only slightly less frumpy. Allow me to describe this man. We'll start with his shoes...sensible black leather loafers...no penny. Moving upward, imagine black and white PLAID slacks. That's correct, ladies and gentlemen. PLAID. And it only gets better. Next you see a grey button down dress shirt. Only the color is a shade of grey rarely seen before and...if it is possible...in NO WAY coordinated with his plaid pants. This is accentuated by a multicolored tie. The tie actually looked like one of my teenage gangmember's attempt at spray paint art. It was awesomely bad. If VH1 did a show called "Awesomely Bad Ties"...this would be number 1. Umm...it was actually that bad. So that was what he was wearing. Furthermore...it is dang near impossible to guess his age due to the grey/white beard and the ring of grey/white cotton ball like fluff semicircling his otherwise bald head like half of one of Saturn's rings.
I'll get to the point where the reason for the description is evident. However, I do have a question. Why is it that the majority of psychologists or PhDs in general look alike? Is this typical? Middle-aged or over, balding, looking like they got dressed in the dark... It was curious. Especially when he began to talk. Now...this is where he got all kinds of interesting...and it wasn't due to anything he said.
First of all... It was 9 am after a holiday, and he starts off with an explanation of a book by Frederick Nietzsche. I forget which book since I wasn't exactly paying close attention. Plus, he was talking to a room of probabtion officers, teachers, behavior interventionists, non-profit agency workers, one counselor, and a couple of social works...all of whom couldn't care less about Nietzsche and his philosophy of good vs. evil. All of sudden he switches into his main topic which would be the difference between an emotional disturbance and a personality disorder. He never really got there, but during the course of his 2 hour rant complete with rabbit chasing tendencies, he did manage to switch into "ghetto doctor" mode. I'm not even kidding. He began to sound exactly like the kids that walk into my office on a weekly basis...with that tone and phrasing. You'd recognize it at an instant if you heard it. For example, the man actually said the following. "Chillin' to them is hanging with their hommies, their associates..." Hommies and associates in the same breath. At one point, he actually combined his ghetto doctor persona with a tragic attempt at the Valley Girl type lingo. It was so bad that he actually had to tell us he was trying to "do Valley Girl". Now...that really is a feat! It was absolutely amazing. Never before have I heard a PhD...who looked like a typical psychologist type...put Nietzsche (typical) and teenage ghetto lingo (atypical) into the same phrase. It boggles the mind.
It was, as you can probably imagine, quite humorous. Humorous was good since no one could follow the man, and he wouldn't have found a point if he sat on one. It was extremely difficult containing the laughter I so wanted to let out...but he didn't say anything funny enough to warrant that kind of laughter so he would of known that it was directed at him.
So now you see. While one may look and use subject matter that proves he is out of touch with his audience, he is capable of blowing all your assumptions by repeatedly saying "You know what I'm sayin'" in the style of a 13-18 year old trying to sound like a bad motor scooter. A truly fascinating experience to say the least.
Enter the psychologist. At first glance, he looks like a typical PhD only slightly less frumpy. Allow me to describe this man. We'll start with his shoes...sensible black leather loafers...no penny. Moving upward, imagine black and white PLAID slacks. That's correct, ladies and gentlemen. PLAID. And it only gets better. Next you see a grey button down dress shirt. Only the color is a shade of grey rarely seen before and...if it is possible...in NO WAY coordinated with his plaid pants. This is accentuated by a multicolored tie. The tie actually looked like one of my teenage gangmember's attempt at spray paint art. It was awesomely bad. If VH1 did a show called "Awesomely Bad Ties"...this would be number 1. Umm...it was actually that bad. So that was what he was wearing. Furthermore...it is dang near impossible to guess his age due to the grey/white beard and the ring of grey/white cotton ball like fluff semicircling his otherwise bald head like half of one of Saturn's rings.
I'll get to the point where the reason for the description is evident. However, I do have a question. Why is it that the majority of psychologists or PhDs in general look alike? Is this typical? Middle-aged or over, balding, looking like they got dressed in the dark... It was curious. Especially when he began to talk. Now...this is where he got all kinds of interesting...and it wasn't due to anything he said.
First of all... It was 9 am after a holiday, and he starts off with an explanation of a book by Frederick Nietzsche. I forget which book since I wasn't exactly paying close attention. Plus, he was talking to a room of probabtion officers, teachers, behavior interventionists, non-profit agency workers, one counselor, and a couple of social works...all of whom couldn't care less about Nietzsche and his philosophy of good vs. evil. All of sudden he switches into his main topic which would be the difference between an emotional disturbance and a personality disorder. He never really got there, but during the course of his 2 hour rant complete with rabbit chasing tendencies, he did manage to switch into "ghetto doctor" mode. I'm not even kidding. He began to sound exactly like the kids that walk into my office on a weekly basis...with that tone and phrasing. You'd recognize it at an instant if you heard it. For example, the man actually said the following. "Chillin' to them is hanging with their hommies, their associates..." Hommies and associates in the same breath. At one point, he actually combined his ghetto doctor persona with a tragic attempt at the Valley Girl type lingo. It was so bad that he actually had to tell us he was trying to "do Valley Girl". Now...that really is a feat! It was absolutely amazing. Never before have I heard a PhD...who looked like a typical psychologist type...put Nietzsche (typical) and teenage ghetto lingo (atypical) into the same phrase. It boggles the mind.
It was, as you can probably imagine, quite humorous. Humorous was good since no one could follow the man, and he wouldn't have found a point if he sat on one. It was extremely difficult containing the laughter I so wanted to let out...but he didn't say anything funny enough to warrant that kind of laughter so he would of known that it was directed at him.
So now you see. While one may look and use subject matter that proves he is out of touch with his audience, he is capable of blowing all your assumptions by repeatedly saying "You know what I'm sayin'" in the style of a 13-18 year old trying to sound like a bad motor scooter. A truly fascinating experience to say the least.
posted by angie at 7:46 AM
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